Thursday, November 27, 2014

4.16. Remember, Remember

DoD defeats Yogg-Saron in the absence of all four
keepers, earning "Alone in the Darkness (25 Player)",

October 31

One month remained before the launch of Cataclysm, and the guild was hungry for that which lay just out of reach. Achievements remained incomplete, and a calculated movement quickly grew among the ranks to solve for x. I had the good fortune of being looped in on many of these invites, and ramped up my availability to meet the needs of the guild. We kicked things off in haste on Hallowe'en night, returning to Ulduar after nearly a year of uninterrupted raiding in Icecrown. The mission: face the Old God once again, sans assistance from the four Keepers. 

It was grueling, even with our ICC-quality gear to offset the difficulty. We had a 20% handicap across the board: we took more damage, pushed out less damage, maintained less health, moved slower...and the 40% less healing taken was the cherry on top. Whatever safety net previously existed was now absent. There was no protective gaze to give us a free life. There was no restorative sanity wells available to keep us from madness. And the brutality of the third phase showed us the true face of the Immortal Guardians: they would not die. It was a race against time to wring every last drop of DPS into Yogg's many mouths, while an encroaching army of Immortal Guardians threatened to dog-pile us into oblivion.

Tentacles surrounded us, grabbing players and slamming them into the floor, and Mangetsu joked, "This reminds me of an anime I watched last night."

We spent an hour and twenty minutes in the darkness, attempting to defeat Yogg-Saron without Fraya, Thorim, Hodir or Mimiron. His thousand gaping maws screamed out in agony as we delivered a final blow, and the golden achievement flashed up "Alone in the Darkness (25 Player)". Our reward was a guaranteed drop of the coveted Mimiron's Head mount. Per DoD's rule, everyone present was allowed to roll on the mount, and Sixfold walked away the winner. We would repeat this kill one more time before Cataclysm, and the second Mimiron's Head went to Mangetsu.

Mature, Falnerashe (and others) execute a clear of 10-Man
Naxx without a single death, earning "The Undying",

November 9

A month had passed since first reaching out to Falnerashe. I kept interactions to a minimum, trying not to come on too strong, trying not to overwhelm. I pinged at random, just to check up, to see how things were, what was going on, if she had any plans for the day. She, too, was attempting to wrap up outstanding achievements, and I took the opportunity to offer help where I could. I never counted on having Falnerashe rejoin DoD, but she was a star healer, so I would have been a fool not to try. When I finally made the pitch, it was as transparent a pane of glass:

Whatever problems you have in DoD, whether they be raid or people related, I will take care of them. At any time, you can shoot me a concern privately -- it doesn't matter how trivial it may seem. Even if all you need to do is rant about stupid people...rant to me. I give you my word: you won't be ignored again. The days of rewarding bad players in this guild are long behind us.

She said she would consider the offer. In the meantime, I walked a fine line between proactivity and harassment. On the 9th of November, we assembled a group to attempt to wrap up an arch-nemesis: The Undying, requiring us to clear an entire 10-Man Naxxramas without any player in the raid eating shit. The Immortal, long since blown, was a write-off by this point, but both Fal and I wanted The Undying...even if the Plagued Proto-Drake was no longer on the table.

Fal brought a few of her friends; I corralled a few from DoD. We 7-manned our way through with a perfectly logical explanation. With less people come less opportunities to die. Slow and steady wins the race, and with care, the seven of us cleared the instance and drew a line through the achievement.

Two days later, Falnerashe accepted a re-invite to Descendants of Draenor.

Mature, Falnerashe, Zedman (and others) defeat Mimiron
without anyone dying, completing "Champion of Ulduar",

November 13

Zedman, now an official member of Descendants of Draenor (and still a full-blooded achievement whore), led his own charge to color in those unfulfilled golden bars. He cracked the whip on a Saturday afternoon, looping us in on a clear through Ulduar, attempting to wrap "Champion of Ulduar" -- the Ulduar equivalent of The Undying. Again, the focus was on not dying, but this time, the design was a little more digestible: each boss was handled individually and could be knocked out in chunks, rather than executing the entire achievement over a single lock. As it stood, nearly all of us needed only Mimiron, the boss most famous for blowing players away at random.

We knocked out achievements along the way: "With Open Arms (10 Player)", "Getting Cold in Here (10 Player)", and "Con-speed-atory (10 Player)"; at every boss, we attempted some kind of achievement for anyone present that required it. By the time we got to Mimiron, things were looking good. We managed to have the giant mech turn a rocket strike back upon his own minions for "Not -So-Friendly Fire (10 Player)"...

...and then he turned a rocket to me. Horse-blinded while in my role as a tank, I missed the targeting reticle and died instantly upon impact.

I could hear the disappointment in Zedman's voice; Fal was silent in vent.

"We are going to get it before Cata," I typed over to Fal in a whisper, "I promise you this."

One week and two days later, I kept my word to Falnerashe. We re-assembled, defeated Mimiron without a death, and earned the achievement and title.

Mature, Neps, Fred, and Hellspectral join a group of
Deathwingers to kill Archavon, Emalon and Koralon
at once, earning "Earth, Wind & Fire (25 Player)",
Lake Wintergrasp

Zedman was unrelenting. He pounced on any opportunity, day or night, to knock out an achievement, and was keenly aware of events transpiring on Deathwing-US...even if my attention was focused on the guild. Late into the evening on the 13th, the Horde reclaimed Wintergrasp, and Zedman took the reins in fielding a crew willing and able to attempt the ridiculous. When the invite arrived, I eyed the roster; there were a few familiar DoDers present -- Fred, Hellspectral and Neps. The rest were strangers.

[From: Zedmann]: Can I give them our Vent info?

[To: Zedmann]: Of course. DoD's policy on vent is open door. Share as needed...with discretion.

The group of random players slowly joined our vent, and Zedman meticulously described how we would pull all three watchers at once: Archavon, Emalon and Koralon, killing them within 60 seconds of each other. We made pull after pull after pull, each one closing the gap on the achievement. But as the Wintergrasp timer ticked away, Zedmann was unable to stay, his RL schedule intervening. We bid him a good night, stayed to defend Wintergrasp when the battle resumed, then reassembled to continue our attempts...

...and completed Zedman's achievement without Zedman. He would go on to earn "Earth Wind & Fire (25 Player)" six months later.

An all-star 10-Man crew of DoD defeats Heroic
Lich King, earning "Bane of the Fallen King",
Icecrown Citadel

November 16

On the 16th, I was honored to be looped in on an all-star 10-Man group intent on defeating Heroic Lich King.  I would tank alongside Drecca, while Neps, Fred, and Gunsmokeco manned the heals. Chosen to push out the maximum possible DPS were Hellspectral, Jungard, Ben (on Boomkin), Larada, and Mangetsu. Three paladins, two death knights, a priest, a shaman, a warrior, a druid, a hunter and a warlock: this was our line-up for Arthas, and our chance to claim any sort of Heroic Lich King kill, 10-Man or otherwise.

Our 25-Man's practice was still burned into our brains, so adapting to the 10-Man version required little adjustment. Phase one's major obstacle was the quick avoidance of shadow traps, which when stood on, would blast players off the platform, plummeting to a grisly death at the base of the citadel. Sending players out quickly to have dispelled Necrotic Plague jump to Shambling Horrors was automatic by this point. Months of practice and built-up muscle memory made this an easy order to digest.

The urgency to clean the platform of Val'kyr was no less real in heroic: they dropped players at 50% health (rather than at death) but had more health, and siphoned life until they were defeated. DPS had to burn every trick they could to maximize their killing strategy. Jungard exploited all opportunities to cleave, while Hellspectral levied massive Howling Blasts on the Val'kyr.

In phase three, the entire raid was pulled into Frostmourne. We zig-zagged our way through a path of Wicked Spirits, DPS desperately trying to apply their trade and prevent the spirits from exploding with crippling AoE damage. It was frantic, challenging, and chaotic; adrenalin pumped throughout each attempt.

There was no shortage of effort that day. After about a half-dozen attempts. Arthas finally met his match in heroic mode, and our small group earned "Bane of the Fallen King (10 Player)". It wasn't 25-Man, but it was still something to proud of....

...and yet, one achievement remained just out of reach.

The all-star team returns to Ulduar and defeats
Algalon utilizing only 226/232 gear, earning
"Herald of the Titans"

November 17

The all-star team returned to the field the next day. Zedman took the place of Ben, while Fred's healing spot was switched out for DPS via Omaric; the rest of the lineup remained unchanged. And on this day, the task at hand was perhaps the most challenging of all: defeat Algalon the Observer (automatically a heroic encounter), while only using gear acquired from Ulduar...or worse. There was no way to fudge this, no opportunity to take advantage of gear from higher tiers as we had with all bosses previous. Even the Lich King encounter could be made a hair easier by pulling gear from 25-Man Halion (ilvl 271), when ICC normally dropping ilvl 264 gear (for 10-Man groups). This achievement allowed no such padding.

Armor could not go above ilvl 226, and the highest allowed weapons were ilvl 232. We took off all our exceptional rewards, collected from ICC over the past year, replacing them with junk. This achievement was going to be about raw skill and discipline, nothing else. If there was ever a fight that proved Blain's long standing claim that "gear doesn't make a bad player good", this was that fight.

Algalon was just as brutal as the day we began practicing the encounter. Simple accidents meant instant wipes. Transitions for Big Bang had to be fluid, and healers had to be on their game to grant death-preventing saves on the tanks before they stepped through their portals. And the lingering one-hour timer produced little beads of sweat on my mouse hand.

Some raiders might argue that the freshly launched 4.0.1 patch, delivering new abilities and talents, might have made this a bit easier on us. For Death Knights, blood was now the only way to tank; fine for me, I had been tanking as blood for months. But the healing from Death Strike had been reduced significantly, justified by a new Blood Shield mechanic, allowing us to absorb damage along with our self-heals. But the potency of the Blood Shield came from Cataclysm's new stat, Mastery, which didn't start showing up on gear until 85. Whatever baseline Blood Shields I produced were quickly eaten by Algalon's brutally fast attacks.

There were other changes. Vengeance now scaled our tank damage as we bore the brunt of the boss. I gained access to Bone Shield, formerly exclusive to Unholy (as was Anti-Magic Shield, now a baseline ability). But, my dealing damage would not make or break this fight, Bone Shield charges were eaten just as fast as Blood Shields, and Anti-Magic Shell wasn't going to save me from a Big Bang...or Algalon's physical strikes. Whether the 4.0.1 changes were a boon or a curse to Death Knights still at 80, I perceived no added bonus. We were going to have to defeat Algalon the old fashioned way: with effort.

...and we made it so.

There were no benefits, no brute forces, no tricks or tactics to exploit, and no exceptional gear from the next tier to ease the pain. We defeated Algalon on the same terms that world first guilds used when racing one another to finish line, and I consider that a real achievement, even if it was only in 10-Man. I set Mature's title to "Herald of the Titans" that day, and haven't changed it since.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

4.15. Same Team

"Gryph vs. Gryph"
Arwork by Ol'ga Bol'shakova

The Sickest Sense

One spring day in 1985 I learned two things about my friend Stephen: that my Coleco Vision's game controllers were compatible with his Commodore 64, and that he was a thief. Before I tell this tale, let me start with an apology. Perhaps I'm being hasty with my labels. "Friend" might be pushing it. Let's agree on something a bit more conservative, say "acquaintance".

This was my first lesson in reading people, and learning that ulterior motives were very real.

Geeks were a rare commodity in the small town of Parksville, so I took what I could get. I invited Stephen over after school, even though I knew I'd be a crummy host. Gaming options were limited. We were one year in on a digital deficit, thanks to the video game crash of '84. It would be a few years before the big N invaded North America, kicking off the 8-bit revolution. These were all minor obstacles in the quest to get a gaming fix. The biggest hurdle was keeping Mom at bay.

She hated video games. Hated the sight of them. Hated the noise. More accurately, she hated what they did to me. Sitting, staring for hours, wide-eyed, rolling games like Zaxxon and Donkey Kong, to the exclusion of everything else: all responsibilities, all homework, all chores. All common sense. Video games had a detrimental effect on me, and Mom read me like a book. She despised them, and so, my game library suffered as a result. I owned the two aforementioned cartridges, and a third: BC's Quest for Tires, based off a Sunday comic strip where the only thing more prehistoric than its setting was its jokes.

Donkey Kong, Zaxxon and BCs Quest for Tires...that was the extent of my video game library for nearly a decade; I wouldn't be allowed to make another video game purchase for six more years.

I wanted to race straight to my room to fire up the Coleco Vision, but manners compelled me to introduce Stephen. Mom smiled, shook his hand, and asked him how he liked our school, the teachers, his classes -- typical small talk one might expect of a mom. He rattled off a mix of "yah", "nah", "I dunno", then excused himself to hit the bathroom. I spun to resume my race to the bedroom, images of spaceships and explosions dancing in my head. A firm grip on my arm stopped me. Before I had a chance to give her a what?, she leaned in and delivered a commanding order under a hushed tone,

"Do not bring him around this house again...ever. He is trouble waiting to happen."

Her words only registered for a split second, quickly erased by images of Mario leaping over barrels. But in that split second in the mind of an 11 year old, I had to wonder one thing: What was it exactly that she sniffed out? He couldn't have been in her presence for more than a couple of minutes. How he spoke? What he wore? Uncombed hair? Or was it something else entirely, something you can't put your finger on, but you know it when you see it. An uneasy feeling in your gut when you look it straight in the eye and you know something isn't right. Mom called it a vibe. And whatever vibes Stephen was giving off, I wasn't getting them. Was it youth? Inexperience?

...or a mad addiction to video games suppressing them?


Three weeks later, Stephen returned the favor, and invited me over to his place for a gaming session. Unlike my sparse options, however, Stephen's bedroom yielded a mother lode of Commodore 64 games. The computer's little details didn't escape my notice: the tan coloring of its plastic casing, the single row of brown "F" keys along the right edge (holding one of them down was a common requirement in loading C-64 games)...and, of course, the two 9-pin connectors engineered into the right wall of the computer case.

Game controllers in the early 80s were pretty much the same. They were either analog or analog/digital hybrids (8-way controllers usually fell into this latter group) but most all shared a common connector: the DE 9 Subminiature or "D-Sub" for short. Forming the shape of a trapezoid, the joystick cable led to a female connector in two rows (5 bottom, 4 top), and the game console provided the male counterpart. D-Sub controllers were prolific, compatible with Atari 2600s, 7800s, the Intellivision II, the ZX Spectrum, the Amstrad and Amiga. Eventually, D-Subs would provide support for the Sega's Mark III and Mega Drive...or what we'd call the Sega Master System and Sega Genesis, respectively. The pinouts -- how the 9 pins actually mapped to their respective game controllers -- didn't always match up exactly, but in most cases, compatibility was surprisingly good.

One such compatibility was the Coleco Vision and the Commodore 64.

The Commodore 64 computer had two game controller
ports that were compatible with Coleco Vision paddles (right)

Blinded by Obsession

After the thirty minute bike ride to Stephen's house, I dropped the navy green backpack on the floor of his bedroom, unlaced it, and produced two black Coleco Vision paddles.

"You think they'll work?" Stephen asked, grabbing the connectors and jamming them into the ports.

"One way to find out..."

The game of choice to test the two controllers was Spy vs. Spy, a simultaneous 2-player game pitting the infamous cone-nosed MAD Magazine characters against one another in a battle of tricks, traps, and treasure. Two player games were rare in 1985; if they existed, players typically took turns trying to beat each other's high score. A game supporting two players at the same time was a rare luxury.

The controllers worked beautifully.

Stephen shared a bedroom with his older brother Cameron. Once Cam saw the dual joystick action, he wanted to get in on it, so we rotated him via "winner stays" rules. Round after round, traps were set and triggered, heads were cracked with batons, bombs exploded in unsuspecting faces, and angelic spies floated up to heaven. It was a blast. But like all blasts, time flew by, and eventually, the time came to depart. I bagged the game controllers back up, hit the bathroom before the long ride home, then said good-bye to Stephen and his brother, and headed out.

There were no surprises on the way home. I took the same route I always took, taking a short cut through a wooded area along a bike path worn down by kids in the neighborhood, cutting across a shopping mall's parking lot, and down through a neighbor's unkempt yard. I never fell off my bike. I wasn't robbed at gunpoint. There wasn't any period of time I was without my backpack; it was cinched closed and laced tightly, and hung off my shoulders for the duration of the ride.

You can imagine my shock, then, when I got home, opened it up and controllers inside.

I frantically rewound the memories of my ride home, but there was no event to single out. I grabbed the phone and called Stephen. Had I left them there? He checked...nope, not there. Must have fallen out on the way home. I hung up, and tears began to well. Could they have possibly fallen out? It made no sense; the backpack was closed the entire ride home. The more I wracked my brain for an explanation, the more upset I became. Most frightening of all was facing Mom's wrath -- the only thing she hated more than video games was dealing with the fallout. Those game controllers were not cheap, not replaceable, and would bring a swift end to my video game addiction. I half expected her to rejoice in hearing they were gone.

Mom had a very different response than what I expected.

As I stood in the kitchen, blubbering, and still clinging to the empty backpack, Mom picked up the phone and began dialing. She butted a du Maurier cigarette into an ashtray as she waited. Someone picked up. Her tone was cordial, with perhaps just a tinge of condescension.

"Yes, Hello? To whom am I speaking? Cameron? Yes, hello there Cameron, this is Shawn's mother. Are you Stephen's brother? Oh, you are! Good, well, I'm calling to let you know that Shawn seems to have forgotten his game controllers at your house. Is someone going to be there at the house in the next hour? Because he's going to be coming by to pick them up, so when would be a good time for that?"

A pause.

"Yes, I heard the conversation earlier, I'm not interested in listening to any of that right now. Yes. Uh-huh. Yes, well I really don't care about that story, Cameron, as I said earlier, perhaps you weren't listening. His controllers are at your house, and he's going to be coming by to pick them up..."

A longer pause. I watched Mom's face. Her eyes narrowed.

"...Well, if that's your story, Cameron, then I have a story for you: I've called the cops on you and your thieving little brother, and they are going to be at your door in the next fifteen minutes unless you cough those game controllers up. I'm gonna wager a guess that your parents won't be too thrilled about that. We'll see you in fifteen minutes!"

...and she hung up.

I stood for a moment, wiping the tears away, staring wide-eyed at Mom. She hadn't called the police. Can...can you do that? She drew another cigarette from the pack, looking back at me in...disgust? Or was it pride? How much longer am I going to have to fight your battles for you, son? Or maybe, it was sometimes, when people play dirty, you have to play dirty.

The minute of silence ended abruptly as the telephone rang out. Mom answered, speaking in the same faked politeness.

"Hello? Yes, he's right here, just a moment!", and she held the phone out toward me.


"......yeah, this is Cam. Come get your controllers."

In-game screenshot of Spy vs. Spy,
based on the MAD Magazine comic strip
created by Antonio Prohias

Two to Tango

Parksville grew rapidly in the 80s, and "Town of" had to be replaced by "City of" before I left grade school. Rapid growth forced limited classrooms to deal with their size by instituting a 3/4 and 4/5 split. This was how I first met Stephen's older brother Cameron, who (in Grade 4) ended up seated across from me, a lowly Grade 3er. Cam was a smug piece of work with a penchant for flicking stones as adeptly as he flicked insults. But his true versatility came in how he affected the room.

He hung with the best and brightest bullies in school...or at least they seemed to be bullies. By themselves, a good number of those kids were no worse nor better behaved than the other. For whatever reason, Cam brought out the very worst in them. He was a button pusher, and knew what buttons of mine to push. Say the right thing, and watch Zurba fly into a rage -- it must have been hilarious for him, a free show every day with minimal investment on his part. I was small, weak, and Mommy fought my battles for me, so "crybaby" worked particularly well; I was a bully's dream come true. What upset me more than the name calling was his effect on people. With Cam in the room, everybody was a bully.

I had few friends, and even fewer that shared a passion for video gaming. In that small town of Parksville, a gaming nerd was a rare treasure to stumble upon. So rare, in fact, that it was easy to turn a blind eye to any riff-raff it happened to attract. It was our mutual love of video games that brought us together and allowed us to leave our differences at the door. This was my reasoning, at least... my naive and inexperienced reasoning.

I was quick to forget any atrocities Cam committed against me on the school playground, if it meant looping him in for the next round of Spy vs. Spy. I never stopped to ponder whether or not it was all just an act, that he was excited because of his own self-interests, especially at the convenience of having game controllers where, formerly, there were none.

There was nothing complex about this first lesson. No diplomacy required to understand motivation, no finessing people to extract any subtext. It was very simple: some people want what you have, and they'll do whatever it takes to get it. And when it happens, it won't be a series of strategic moves to topple you from a kingdom, no mosaic of plotting, no navigation of political minefields. They'll take what they want, and the story will end. You'll want an explanation for why you were betrayed, but you won't get one...because there won't be one.

There is no betrayal where loyalty never existed.

When I showed up to collect my controllers, Stephen didn't answer the door. There was no apology. No hung head in defeat at being caught red-handed, and no show of remorse. Instead, the ringleader was the one with the balls to face me, standing on the front steps with the controllers jammed into a plastic grocery bag. Hours earlier, we were all on the same team, playing video games and having a blast, and all was right with the world.

"Here" was the only thing he said to me as he shoved the bag in my face. I looked back into his eyes, to see if I could get a read on whatever Mom got from Stephen. He stared back with a cold smirk, no hint of defeat, no acknowledgement of loss; an unremarkable vibe of apathy. I got the message, loud and clear:

I was never on your team, loser. 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

4.14. Leaders By Proxy

Blizzard's newly revealed Demon Hunter
wanders the convention center,
BlizzCon 2010

Guildies For Days

Two men stood on the steps of the Anaheim Convention Center. The first, easily six feet tall, wore a pair of rectangular glasses similar to my own, had thinning hair, and bore a tanned complexion that only nerds local to California could enjoy the luxury of. The other was shorter than I, a bit paler, with more meat on him. His black hair was thick and curly, and greeted me with a smile more appropriately described as a smirk. Both were guildies, both also former Avatars, acknowledged for their exceptional contribution and dedication to the guild. Both members of the 10-Man squad recently tasked with rolling Alliance alts and defeating the Lich King "because they could." One was Moolickalot, and the other was...

"Drecca?" I presumed, pointing.

The shorter of the two gave a single wave.

"You, my friend, are the savior of the guild."

He nodded and said "cool" as if I had complimented him on his shoes. I don't think Drecca understood how vitally important his role in the guild was. He joined DoD at a crucial point in ICC progress, both as Bretthew was strategizing an exit from raiding (and raid leadership) while his partner, Omaric, grew increasingly dissatisfied with tanking. To Drecca, it seemed a simple thing: come in, tank, kill some bosses, walk out with loot -- all in a day's work. It was much more than that. Tanks are the pillars of a raid team's foundation. It isn't enough just to have them present. They have to own it.

The tank sets the pace of the pulls and bears the brunt of the boss's force; they drive the charge and you follow. Even if you don't place them in a role of responsibility, your guild will grow to see them as leaders over time -- it happens organically. Drecca may have been "cool" with my praise, but I made it a point to remind him of the precedent he was setting. He was quickly becoming the type of guildy I hoped my team would mimic: having a practical, laser-like focus on getting the job done, no matter the cost. I never heard Drecca drop phrases like "yeah, but..." or "maybe if we..." Here's the obstacle, this is what we need to do. Get it done. Pulling in 3...2...1...

I led them back into the convention center, and shot Drecca a quick footnote, "I need to show you the next rev. of our website. I think I've found a way for you to keep your own DKP pool for the Alt. 25...and it even works with players that aren't in the guild."


"I swear to God Almighty, if he texts me 'LOL' one more time, I'm going to stab myself in the face."
Joredin laughed while I thumbed another SMS message back to the perpetrator. DoD was deep in recruitment mode as the weeks ticked away toward Cataclysm's release. Just prior to the 'con, we gobbled up another tank, and a torturous stream of messages beginning and ending with LOL was proof that the kid was near. As Joredin and I sat in the foot court, my phone vibrated with updates from a player perpetually lost.

LOL where are you?

having a hard time finding u lol

lol which sied is the food on

"I don't know how many more ways I can describe 'the place where you go outside to eat' here. Atrium? Vestibule?"

Joredin wiped a tear of laughter away, "that would probably make it worse!"

"Seriously. Can this guy not get a map? There is a map of the convention center, isn't there?"

"What's his deal?" Joredin asked.

It was a very common story. Reasonable tank, adequate skills -- a role that was always in high demand. An opportunity arose to get his foot in the door with a hardcore guild, but the guild leader had other intentions. Once baited in, the guild leader used him to make a sales pitch to more dedicated, hardcore raiding tanks. "Oh sure, we're raiding today, here's our MT. But...with you on board, we could be so much greater." The directionally-challenged kid had been made a stepping-stone, catapulting the raid to greatness, leaving him benched in the process. I carved a spot out for the kid, and looked forward to seeing what he could.

That is, if I didn't go insane first.

which side again lol?

I stared at Joredin a moment, stunned with disgust, then thumbed a text back:

I will murder you in your sleep.

A few moments later, the phone buzzed with with a response:

Sorry, not good with directions :(

Let's hope you tank better than you navigate.

Bretthew (Taba) and Kadrok ride the Gyroscope,
BlizzCon 2010

He Has It

Most attendees would agree that the most memorable moment from the BlizzCon 2010 panels was the Red Shirt Guy, famously taking Alex Afrasiabi and Chris Metzen to task by calling out a plot hole with the Wildhammers. For me, an unrelated question had a far greater impact...

...or rather, its answer, and the person who gave it.

QA sessions were pure entertainment. Attendees generally pitched softballs at the designers. things like why doesn't (insert class) have its own special mount? and weren't we promised a Moose? and where's the dance studio? I'd hear questions like these and immediately have one of my own: Why are you wasting our time? I had to hand it to Blizzard, they were always incredibly patient and gracious with their fans, regardless of how inane the questions might be.

Class QA was a bit different, caused the real hardcore math nerds to emerge. Why don't you add a glyph to make this ability's cooldown line up with other attacks? How do you plan to keep Mastery from making us too bursty in PvP and too dulled in PvE? Why hasn't rage normalization solved the warrior's resource management issues, and how do you plan to address? They were the types of questions that got you leaning forward with your bag of popcorn.

Blizzard's class team, led by Ghostcrawler, always responded with thoughtful professionalism, yet astute listeners could often pick up on those tell-tale traits of uncertainty. "...we're still looking at this," "...we'll continue to tweak and tune as necessary," and ", that's a very good point, and we'll be keeping an eye on it." These types of answers left me cringing; they translate into "I don't know," "I'm not at liberty to say," or "My answer is probably going to infuriate you."

But it was during a question about a perceived unfairness favoring a paladin's holy damage (along with a subsequent lack of holy resistance) that an unfamiliar face came out of the woodwork. I'd never seen this Blizzard employee before, did not recognize the name or face, and wasn't sure where they fit in amongst the typical Ghostcrawler-dominated media blitzes. He had a quiet yet extraordinary delivery: he spoke in rapid-fire bursts, pausing to accentuate the most important points in his response.  

"As an additional quick followup, I think it's worth nothing: I think the advantage of holy over other spell schools isn't quite as large as it used to be in the past. We don't generally make resistance-oriented gear anymore, and so if you're facing a paladin...really, the difference between facing someone that deals holy damage versus facing someone that does fire damage is maybe your blessing of kings or mark of the wild...maybe mitigating 10% of the fire damage and not the holy...

...but that's not really...that's not the reason you're losing to the paladin...if you are."

He ended the barrage with a smile and a nod as the crowd slowly caught up to him. Once they 'got' the answer and the joke, laughter and applause followed.

I glanced at Drecca, impressed, "Oh, I like this guy. That was a hell of an answer right there."

Ion Hazzikostas would come to provide many more insightful answers in the months and years to come.

DoD leaves its mark on the "Guild Wall",
BlizzCon 2010

The Con Concludes

Goldy managed to find his way in on the second day, taking advantage of a huge line of ticket holders requesting refunds for last minute cancels. I joined him, acquiring a second goody bag to be shipped back to New York for Hellspectral, once such cancellation that was a result of work. Shortly after, we waited in line alongside Bonechatters, Borken, Larada, and others from DoD, to try our hand at Diablo III PvP Arena. Goldy and I formed a team: I drove a Barbarian while my guild mage manned the Wizard (unsurprisingly). The PvP in Diablo III was coming along nicely; it was definitely faster and more raw than the arenas I was accustomed to in WoW. Diablo III had secretly been in development for so long, and was such a cherished franchise to so many players, that its eagerly anticipated release was certain to be memorable. When that day arrived, I wondered how I would ever fit the time in.

While waiting in line for Diablo III, Goldy tugged my shirt, then pointed across the room, "Pretty sure that's Taba and Kadrok over there."

I squinted, trying to zero in on the faces across the room. Sure enough, the two of them were strapped into a device known to spin humans until sick. I snapped a photo, and looked forward to hearing about their lunch.

There were many more sights to take in: server blades that made up the original launch of WoW back in '04, many pieces of officially sanctioned artwork that could be bid on, even life-sized statues of their many heroes. Eventually, I came across a "guild wall" where attendees could permanently etch their presence into the Blizzard's history, scribbling messages and sketching pictures to prove they had been there. I grabbed a marker and penciled in our guild tag where I found room. Below it, I left Ater's famous quote: a guild motto that made no secret about our strategy.


The BlizzCon festivities ended tenaciously. We spilled out of the convention center in a daze, the DoD cavalcade marching south in search of food and drink. We made our way to a Pizzeria / Sports Bar called Oggi's. The wait staff jammed five tables together in order to seat the party. Pitchers of beer cycled through the procession. We drank. We told stories. We laughed. For a short time, surrounded by guildies in real life, the concerns of DoD's longevity and of Cataclysm were forgotten. In that evening of cheering nerds celebrating their victories over Internet dragons, the six years were worth it, and had renewed confidence that this group could stick together. It was a trip both exciting and informative, granting me a rare look into the people on the other side of the screen.

"I feel good about this," I said, nodding, "We've got the right changes in places. This is doable. The guild's still got some life left in it, and if we band together...yep. I think we can pull this off." I looked back at the guildy sitting across the table from me, and got my final read of the night.

I've made many mistakes as a guild leader, but none were as egregious as the one I was about to make. My first lesson in reading people had come many years before. It should have prepared me for this moment...and I looked away.

You should have known better.

I should have known better.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

4.13. Return to BlizzCon

A mage with polymorphed target,
BlizzCon 2010

If You Could See What I Hear

In the first episodes of "The Guild", a hyperkinetic gamer faces her worst fear: the people she games with become a part of her real life. As Codex's dual realities collide, awkward shenanigans follow. The show's beauty is in how comically accurate Felicia Day's characters mirror common stereotypes: The Antisocial Introvert, The Model Parent, The Infatuated Stalker, The Bitch, The Commander Obsessed With Practicality, The Kid That's Not a Kid And Tired of Being Treated Like One. The Guild's portrayal of gamers is meant to be light-hearted and satirical, but peel away the jokes and the show's accuracy hits closer to home than you might think. We don't often get an opportunity to interact with our rosters in real life -- it's an invaluable trove of peripheral data that helps you understand motivations and intent. Navigating the personalities of your guild is already a challenge, and if you aren't paying enough attention, you may miss the cue that walks you directly into a tree.

Options for getting face time in Descendants of Draenor was limited. The locals were the most obvious contenders: Graulm, Evilexan, Selga, Volitar, Kizmet. Those who traveled to (or through) Denver were the next best bets. Burburbur flew in for his twin brother's wedding one year, and we hooked up at the Mongolian BBQ near Market Street Station. He was burly, with a thick head of hair and a beard covering a wide grin. Bur was the kind of guy you'd expect to prefer game hunting as a hobby, rather than moving a digital warrior in and out of a Vaelastrasz rotation. As if to fulfill some prophecy, he famously held up a boss pull one evening to put a bullet between the eyes of a raccoon getting too familiar with his garbage.

Bheer was another visitor, showing up for a conference one year. I bolted out of the office and raced down 16th St., to meet him for beers in a hotel lobby. He was a big boy, perhaps a reflection of the love of his namesake, but to be fair, it isn't difficult to dwarf me. We sat for hours in that lobby, drinking and sharing tales of Vanilla raiding, how the game had changed, and what was next in store for DoD.

Last on the opportunity list were those I visited when travelling, and those options were far and few between. Work took me to Dallas, TX on corporate sponsored trips, stomping grounds to my warlock officer Eacavissi. I got a chance to sit down and listen to him unravel the mysteries buried deeply in organic nanomaterials. His Ph.D. was still several years away, but Eaca's knowledge of solar cells was intimidating, if not borderline least, to the lay person.

Those who lived near me, those who came to visit, and those who I visited, didn't even add up to a baker's dozen. The only other opportunity to meet guildies face-to-face was at the pivotal event for all things Blizzard. This time, I'd face nearly twenty of them at once.

Chris Metzen delivers the "Geek Is" intro,
BlizzCon 2010

California Dreamin'

BlizzCon eluded me for four years. I was able to fit the initial event in, back in 2005, but obstacles conveniently got in the way in the years to follow. Blizzard took 2006 off, assumedly to focus on getting The Burning Crusade out the door. When BlizzCon returned in '07, the fall date had been pushed forward, conflicting with our trip to the Great White North. The timing was right for '08, returning to October, but their freshly launched online ticket purchase system had other plans. I spammed F5 as best I could, but only the very lucky made their way to the 'Con that year. As for BlizzCon 2009, it once again crossed over the family vacation, so I traded the company of nerds for those invested in hydraulic fracturing.

At long last, plans to attend BlizzCon finally came together in 2010.

Goldenrod was my host and chauffeur. Slightly taller than me, his brownish hair and beard bore the faintest tinge of red, and he greeted me at the airport with a warm smile and a firm handshake. We darted through the traffic of a surprisingly busy parking garage, ending up at his Scion, which he affectionately referred to as his "toaster on wheels". As we drove off into the night, my phone unrelented with non-stop arrival announcements.

"This is my life," I said, Goldenrod laughing in response, "even when I'm not online, I'm guild leading."


The morning of October 22nd was layered a thin, almost fog-like mist. It was nothing at all that I expected of California, but Goldy confirmed it not uncommon in that climate, guaranteed to pass. We ate at Ruby's on Balboa Pier, the pacific ocean painting a backdrop behind my guildy. I watched his mannerisms carefully as he spilled his guts. The breakfast confessional began with his history in DoD, WoW in general, his love/hate relationship with mages. Soon, he transitioned into real life: relationship struggles, his faith, career aspirations, and living in California. As the conversation carried on, he was attentive and nodded frequently, shoegazing at times with particularly difficult reveals, but looked directly at me when acknowledging his past. There were no surprises here: he hated his mistakes. I reassured him not to dwell, "Join the club." I told him to put his first guild exit out of his mind, and agreed that emotions govern more than what we'd like to admit. "You're aware of it, now. That's huge. More than can be said for a huge group of humanity that lives in denial." The rattle of my phone snapped us both back into reality, and it was then that I noticed Goldy's prophecy fulfilled -- the mist was gone.

Goldy dropped me off at the convention center, then disappeared back to work, hoping to finagle an early dismissal. I meandered my way through the massive line-up wrapping around the convention center, snapping pictures of cosplayers and searching for my next guildy: Joredin. He found me, and spent a few minutes catching up, having to yell over the occasional wave of FOR THE HORDE screams that cascaded across the crowd. It was great to have him back, and the work he'd done for the guild's 10-man team management helped set the stage for the Tactician rank I was about to bestow upon him.

The line began to move, and we wove our way into the convention center. Before long, we were seated and watching Chris Metzen deliver his infamous "Geek Is" introduction. After digesting a barrage of reveals like the Demon Hunter and DOTA for StarCraft II, I was eager to navigate the conference floor, but the loss of time was dizzying as we bounced from one display to the next. The buzz of incoming text messages continued to flood in, and I elbowed Joredin, "That was Taba. There's a handful of them at the hotel." As we headed toward the doors, Chris Metzen himself stepped out of the crowd of faces, just long enough for me to stop him for a picture.

Joredin (left), Chris Metzen, and Hanzo,
BlizzCon 2010

Information Overload

Taba waved me up to second floor from the balcony. I climbed up the steps, slapped Taba on the back, and shoved my way into his hotel room as a pushy guild leader should. Four more faces awaited Joredin and I. Taba's girlfriend Nikada, freshly inducted into DoD as a Death Knight, was there, her most noticeable feature being long, dark black hair. Omaric rose to meet me with a handshake, "In the flesh." I was immediately struck by how short he was. "Omaric, what the Sam Hell is going on?" I glanced past him to see Sixfold and his girlfriend, immediately locking in on his hair swept up into a fauxhawk,  and a single silver loop punctured through his eyebrow. I bypassed the formalities, "Did you bring them?" Six rustled around his suitcase and produced a small red box with a label that read du MAURIER. He handed me the familiar Canadian brand of cigarettes, and I tore the plastic off. Taba looked surprised, "Wow, Hanzo. I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't," I said, shooting him an unwavering stare while I lit and inhaled, "Let's eat."


Sixfold lounged in his chair, the glint of the afternoon sun occasionally bouncing off his eyebrow ring. His ultra laid-back casualness was in stark contrast to Taba, who seemed to fidget in his chair, shifting constantly as he discussed the 'Con. Omaric reached across the table to grab a handful of nachos, "So, Hanzo. You upset about them cancelling the contest?" Both Omaric and I came to the 'Con prepared with a arsenal of possible options for this year's voice talent contest, only to find that the contest had been cancelled due to lack of interest.

I took a drag off my cigarette, "I'm fucking distraught over the decision, to be honest."

He laughed. It would've been a great challenge to go up against Omaric's incredible vocal talent. My plan was to hit the audience with a recreation of the entire Wilfred Fizzlebang/Lord Jaraxxus intro, complete with a new hilarious ending that the raiders of the 'Con would appreciate. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. As Omaric revealed his own plans to knock out a kick-ass impression of Prince Malchezaar, I was continually struck by how much presence his voice carried, not at all matching the frame of the guy sitting next to me. Omaric was easily the shortest and youngest looking of the group, with large blue eyes and tufts of whiskers struggling to burst forth from his chin. He was tearing his way out of boyhood with ferocity, his commanding, deep voice leading the charge.

Taba definitely gave off that youthful vibe; easy, considering he was ten years younger than me. I kept going back to his glasses: rectangular (like mine), but with much thinner frames, and more prominently squared off at the corners. I can't tell you why I hyper-focused on this particular attribute, yet I was continually distracted by it. I watched as he trading talking for drinking, slowly bleeding the pitcher of beer away amid random bursts of cheers and excitement that he'd been known for over Ventrilo.

I turned to the gal sitting next to Bonechatters, revealed as Rainaterror, who had been quiet thus far. I quizzed her on career choices in an attempt to learn more about the people comprising my guild, "So what do you do?"

"I'm a teacher."

"Ah, nice. Education. And why'd you go that particular route?"

She shrugged, "I dunno. Something to pay the bills, I guess."

Who becomes a pay the bills?

My phone rattled again, this time, from Moolickalot:

Drecca's here.

I thumbed back a response that we were on our way, then sat up and made an announcement to the table, "Let's wrap this up, folks. We've got another Pally in the house."